Walking in my garden, I see that summer has arrived. I notice too that weeds have appeared and I wonder, does this represent a part of one's self? Are there parts we would like to root out and plant a more beautiful, more aesthetically pleasing bloom?
I wonder, what is wrong with weeds? I sense that weeds dominate other parts, particularly ‘pretty flowers’. Weeds seem to re-appear again and again and I believe that we all have weeds in our emotional gardens yet some people cling on to these difficult parts of ourselves.
Carl Rogers, a very wise man, created the Person Centred approach to address this very existential dilemma. He didn't believe that the past impacted on the here and now. He believed and created the Person Centred approach on three main core conditions to enable growth. These are empathy, congruency and unconditional positive regard.
Everyone has the capacity to grow and change. It takes courage and when you have been told again and again and again that there's something wrong with you, a feeling of being disabled is absorbed. Perhaps the ‘weed’ part of you was planted when you were young and year after year, the feeling of not being good enough, not measuring up, not making parents and grandparents proud continues to impact your emotional and physical well being. Physically, our bodies can experience headaches, nightmares, anxiety – the list could be very long or even, very short.
People are fragile, vulnerable and with summer here now, perhaps this is the time to choose a different way where ‘weeds’ are nurtured, heard and changed into a more empowering way of being beautiful. To be heard, validated and emotionally held is extremely reparative. We all have the ability to change and yes, it takes courage. What are your ‘weeds’? Would you like to change your garden? You can you know and summer is here now.
Sarah Dean can be found at The Banbury Therapy Centre